Weird Science

"Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand."

-Sir Isaac Newton

"Some say it's mystic. It's electric. Boogie woogie woogie." 

-Thomas Alva Edison

"While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats." 

-Charles Darwin

"It is not an easy thing to inflate a dog."

-Ivan Pavlov

"You can spend your whole life analyzing, justifying, quantifying, and dividing until there's nothing anymore. Why don't you just close your eyes and kiss my lips and let it go, just let it flow, it's what I'm waiting for."

  -Albert Einstein

Presidential Rock Stars

"Now I'm the new nigga, who figured I'd get the game locked, now watch how the prices of your [cotton] drop."

-Abraham Lincoln

"Safe sex is great sex--better wear a latex--cuz you dont want that late text that "I think I'm late text."

-Thomas Jefferson

"I got techniques dripping out my buttcheeks, sleep on my stomach so I don't fuck up my sheets"

-William Howard Taft

"And we're all in the bathtub now, making bathtub gin."

-Harry S. Truman

"Don't look at me funny like you ain't hear what I said. I gotta hole in my head."

-John F. Kennedy